Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Perfect Situation

What is the deal with my brain? Why am I so obviously insane? Now, I must face these hungry nights once again. This shit is getting unbelievable cause its real painful inside. Cause I know I cant have it better.

These last few days, just been terrible for me inside. Maybe its the weather fooling with me once again but shit it terrible. Something is up with my head. One thing that I've been practicing this year was trying to hide my feelings and emotions from my friends. Reason I do that is because I don't wan them to worry or feel concerned for me. Only real n*gg*z know when something is up with me . But I think all the things I was trying to hide from the past are finally getting into my head. History, past, future and all this garbage is just getting into my head. Looking what I have done in the past these last few day just makes me feel like an idiot. I was looking through some emails I sent to someone a few months back, I was such and stupid dumbass back then. The stuff I tried to do these last few months, when looking back I feel like a total dumbass, jerk and an idiot . I would hate to think about my past for the rest of the summer. Having to look at my past and thinking to myself how dumb I was. Stuff like that makes me wanna just go insane and crazy .Well not only summer but the rest of the year. I can't have this feeling all year. I will dread myself. And next thing you know it, I will do something stupid once again

I need to get out more often or find something to do to clear my mind... probably work on my other blog. been writing 16 bars lately

3 comments:

  1. lol lawrence, you're scaring me
    i think youre thinking too much

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  2. i mean if it felt right at the moment when you sent those emails and you meant every word you said. theres nothing to ever regret about it. you shouldnt feel like a dumbass, a jerk nor an idiot. youre an intelligent human being with a heart. if people dont appreciate it then thats just their loss. keep your head up.

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  3. its allll good to let your emotions come out because in the end, it will clense you. That's why you been so down and out, because you let all those mixed bad emotions build up to the point where you just had to let out or try to drink your problems away.. but you should start lettting your emotions out more, cause I always know when youre down, I'm one of those real niggasss =]

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